Living in Saudi Arabia as a mom is not easy....not for someone like me. I'm pretty independent, I do not like asking for help or relying on others..so living in a place where I cannot do anything unless I rely on others is exhausting.
It's not all bad...I've made friends...only 2 are actually Saudi women. We have our birthday parties and our play dates and my pottery classes. There are days when everything seems great and then I have to get into the backseat of a car with a total stranger to pick up my son and my mood immediately deteriorates.
I try...I really do to see the bright side...to be grateful...but I keep thinking I can drive better than him. And when he takes a wrong turn after I have already told him 5 times before the turn that he will be taking that turn and he misses it...I can't help feeling livid.
In a country that is supposed to be governed by Islam..they sure are hypocritical. What was that saying about a man and a woman being alone together in a room, and the devil being the third one. Well a car is a lot smaller than most rooms...and I'm alone a lot of the time in said car with some guy I honestly know nothing about. And I'm trusting my life and my children's life to him because I have no other choice. Like I said though I'm trying..I'm trying to focus on the good things....but this tiny seemingly insignificant thing is eating away at me.
I JUST WANT TO DRIVE MY CAR! It's not like there is ANYWHERE or ANYTHING for me to do here that could get me into any trouble. All I want to do is go grocery shopping by myself..schedule my day without having to factor in the time it will take me to get from one driver to the other driver. I just want to go when I want to go...hop in my car and leave. Turn on the AC without having the driver repeatedly turn it off...the rear ac only works if the front AC is on...which I've told him yet he still turns it off. Control the radio...and not have him suddenly turn it off or turn down the volume. I just want my fucking space back! I don't like having some stranger invade my family life...know the silly things we do in the car...have such intimate knowledge about me and my family. I don't like it..and I don't know how much longer I can take it before I lose my mind. Theres around 12 more years before my son can drive...having him drive me around would be infinitely better than having a driver who I'm honestly not sure even understands what I'm saying half the time.
It's frustrating to the point of being infuriating. I'd love if the roles were reversed for at least a week..I'd love to see how Saudi men would survive being told they aren't allowed to drive themselves. They must have drivers take them everywhere. It would make my life. If only.
Writing helps...it helps me vent without irritating people around me by sounding like a broken record.
*sigh* The only place in the whole world where women are not allowed to drive and I'm stuck in it. FML
Oh and other news that has me depressed. My husbands company has implemented new rules. All female employees, regardless of whether they are Saudi or not, must wear a abaya to work. And if they choose not to wear it in the office it must be there hanging in their office. Also if there is a surprise ministry visit to the building all women must quickly move to a separate floor to make it seem that women and men work separately. Women are no longer allowed to ride their bikes to work, nor are they allowed to drive their cars to work. They must only take the bus. Needless to say, the women employees are pissed. Beyond pissed, and I don't blame them one bit.
For the residents where I live a dress code is now being strictly enforced...not that it really affects me since I dress pretty conservatively anyways. But still feels very high school...and irritated me a lot. One of the dress code rules was at the swimming pool only non-revealing conservative swim suits must be worn. I'm not sure what they mean by that and how one would find a non-revealing swim suit...but I guess their plan is to make women wear abayas in the pool as well. It's only a matter of time before women are forced to wear abayas on the compound too. I know the new person in charge of these matters would be more than pleased by that change. And when that happens..I'm outta here...I don't care if a live in a cardboard box. Wearing a abaya everyday off of the compound is annoying enough..I'm not going to be told I have to wear one walking around my neighborhood too.
I hate abayas. I never minded them before...but living here and wearing them all the time...they annoy me to death. I can't sit comfortably...they are always getting tangled or stuck on something. They make you hotter than you would be in just clothes...way hotter. the buttons are always falling off...the sleeves are either too tight which means you cant roll them up or too loose which means when you're eating out your bound to drag it through the food on the table. Bathrooms here, where cleanliness is an important aspect of religion, are nightmares. Disgusting, wet, messes that are a nightmare to walk into with a abaya. And of course there is NEVER any toilet paper.
I feel like this is turning into a rant so maybe I should calm down and go make some tea or something....because this could go on forever.
bright side..silver lining..My son had his 6th birthday party this past weekend and it was amazing. I met a bunch of new mom friends and reconnected with old mom friends and it was just a really nice get together. I enjoyed it a lot and didn't once think of the things about living in this country that the annoy the fuck out of me.
It's not all bad...I've made friends...only 2 are actually Saudi women. We have our birthday parties and our play dates and my pottery classes. There are days when everything seems great and then I have to get into the backseat of a car with a total stranger to pick up my son and my mood immediately deteriorates.
I try...I really do to see the bright side...to be grateful...but I keep thinking I can drive better than him. And when he takes a wrong turn after I have already told him 5 times before the turn that he will be taking that turn and he misses it...I can't help feeling livid.
In a country that is supposed to be governed by Islam..they sure are hypocritical. What was that saying about a man and a woman being alone together in a room, and the devil being the third one. Well a car is a lot smaller than most rooms...and I'm alone a lot of the time in said car with some guy I honestly know nothing about. And I'm trusting my life and my children's life to him because I have no other choice. Like I said though I'm trying..I'm trying to focus on the good things....but this tiny seemingly insignificant thing is eating away at me.
I JUST WANT TO DRIVE MY CAR! It's not like there is ANYWHERE or ANYTHING for me to do here that could get me into any trouble. All I want to do is go grocery shopping by myself..schedule my day without having to factor in the time it will take me to get from one driver to the other driver. I just want to go when I want to go...hop in my car and leave. Turn on the AC without having the driver repeatedly turn it off...the rear ac only works if the front AC is on...which I've told him yet he still turns it off. Control the radio...and not have him suddenly turn it off or turn down the volume. I just want my fucking space back! I don't like having some stranger invade my family life...know the silly things we do in the car...have such intimate knowledge about me and my family. I don't like it..and I don't know how much longer I can take it before I lose my mind. Theres around 12 more years before my son can drive...having him drive me around would be infinitely better than having a driver who I'm honestly not sure even understands what I'm saying half the time.
It's frustrating to the point of being infuriating. I'd love if the roles were reversed for at least a week..I'd love to see how Saudi men would survive being told they aren't allowed to drive themselves. They must have drivers take them everywhere. It would make my life. If only.
Writing helps...it helps me vent without irritating people around me by sounding like a broken record.
*sigh* The only place in the whole world where women are not allowed to drive and I'm stuck in it. FML
Oh and other news that has me depressed. My husbands company has implemented new rules. All female employees, regardless of whether they are Saudi or not, must wear a abaya to work. And if they choose not to wear it in the office it must be there hanging in their office. Also if there is a surprise ministry visit to the building all women must quickly move to a separate floor to make it seem that women and men work separately. Women are no longer allowed to ride their bikes to work, nor are they allowed to drive their cars to work. They must only take the bus. Needless to say, the women employees are pissed. Beyond pissed, and I don't blame them one bit.
For the residents where I live a dress code is now being strictly enforced...not that it really affects me since I dress pretty conservatively anyways. But still feels very high school...and irritated me a lot. One of the dress code rules was at the swimming pool only non-revealing conservative swim suits must be worn. I'm not sure what they mean by that and how one would find a non-revealing swim suit...but I guess their plan is to make women wear abayas in the pool as well. It's only a matter of time before women are forced to wear abayas on the compound too. I know the new person in charge of these matters would be more than pleased by that change. And when that happens..I'm outta here...I don't care if a live in a cardboard box. Wearing a abaya everyday off of the compound is annoying enough..I'm not going to be told I have to wear one walking around my neighborhood too.
I hate abayas. I never minded them before...but living here and wearing them all the time...they annoy me to death. I can't sit comfortably...they are always getting tangled or stuck on something. They make you hotter than you would be in just clothes...way hotter. the buttons are always falling off...the sleeves are either too tight which means you cant roll them up or too loose which means when you're eating out your bound to drag it through the food on the table. Bathrooms here, where cleanliness is an important aspect of religion, are nightmares. Disgusting, wet, messes that are a nightmare to walk into with a abaya. And of course there is NEVER any toilet paper.
I feel like this is turning into a rant so maybe I should calm down and go make some tea or something....because this could go on forever.
bright side..silver lining..My son had his 6th birthday party this past weekend and it was amazing. I met a bunch of new mom friends and reconnected with old mom friends and it was just a really nice get together. I enjoyed it a lot and didn't once think of the things about living in this country that the annoy the fuck out of me.
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