I think I'm done living in Saudi Arabia. Done with all of it...I can honestly say that at this particular moment in time if I leave this country never to return again I will not be sad. Not even a little. I may miss a few people and I will miss the boys' school, but other than that. Nothing.
Now I know it seems childish and ridiculous to complain and say I hate this place, when there are so many places in the world that are much worse than living in suffocating Saudi Arabia. I could be stuck in the middle of the war in Syria, or the chaos that is Iraq, or some poverty stricken place in Africa. I know that, I do, but until you've lived this life and dealt with these frustrations that happen every single day with no end in sight...you have no right to tell me that I am not justified in feeling that I currently live in the worst possible country on earth.
So..lets vent. Let's list a few of these frustrations...
1. Not being allowed to drive. You'd think it is a stupid thing to complain about...but being entirely dependent on someone else to take you where you want to go is not fun. Especially not when you have three other human beings attached to you wherever you go. And it's further exacerbated by living on a compound where you seem to be not only talking, but screaming at walls. When no one cares or even bothers to fully listen to your issues, where they go constantly go back on their word, where their poor sensitive male ego is hurt when a woman comes up with a solution better than theirs, and to remedy that they completely ignore any recommendation made by you. Where trying to get your kids to school each day is a battle, an event so stressful that before the day even starts you're ready to crawl back into bed; only to be reminded that crawling into bed is not an option.
2. While on the topic of driving, lets mention the horrendous traffic. When in the States, I loved driving around neighborhoods and getting lost and discovering hidden play grounds and adorable houses. On weekends, going for a drive was also fun. Here leaving our house to get freaking groceries is a fucking nightmare. You don't know if you'll make it home alive, or if today will be the day that you end up getting into a horrific car accident. I vent to my parents and anyone who will listen about this a lot, and my dad always knows the right things to say (sarcasm). He likes to let me know how awful traffic is in the States too, and how he hates driving there for the exact same reason. Nope. Sorry but you are a liar. You cannot compare driving in the States to driving here, where you'll be minding your own business driving the right way and suddenly a car is driving directly towards you because he cant be freaking bothered to get on the right side of the road. The driving here is a reason we stay home.
3. More on grocery shopping or any type of shopping. Dealing with driving there is only half the battle..theres also the oh so lovely prayer time where everything closes for at least an hour. prayer takes at most 10 minutes, why they need to close for an hour is beyond me...and with there being 5 prayers a day...really only 4 of them affect store times...you can just imagine how efficient weekends are here. Get to the grocery store and get locked inside because its prayer time and we can't pay for our shit. Finally get out, and go drive to a restaurant...oh shit another prayer...restaurant closed. Let's go home and wish we never ever left our house.
4. Rude, entitled, judgemental people. This one is applicable to all places, it's not unique to Saudi Arabia, but it definitely adds to the joy of living here. For example waiting in line and some completely head to toe covered woman tries cutting in front of you because she assumes you don't speak arabic and therefore are lesser than her. When you do speak arabic, she looks you up and down and half heartedly apologizes but still tries to get her stuff done before you. Or something as simple as boarding a plane....the concept of forming a line seems to be much to difficult for people here..not just Saudis but Pakistanis and Indians too. I realize someone may call me out and say I'm racist but it's true, and of course there are the few western ex pats who think "if you can't beat em.." and those people I truly despise. I despise them all, but the western expats who wouldn't dare behave this way back home...they really disappoint me. Living here has made me lose all hope for humanity, and theres Trump and his lovely followers...people suck and I'm better off holing up in my house.
5. The abaya. It's hot, it's annoying, it gets stuck on things, it makes me trip, and I HATE it. I hate it with a passion....i want to light all of mine on fire and watch them burn. The only good thing is that I cvan leave the house in my pajamas or wear the same clothes every single day and not a single person will know. Granted doing that isn't great for your emotional or mental state...but its the only positive I can think of.
6. For a place that lets kids run wild, it does not have a lot for kids. Sure every mall has a kids play area but most are so poorly maintained that you would be better off sending your kids to play in a junk yard...they have the same likelihood of getting hurt or sick from both places. Also there are no changing tables in any bathroom I have ever been in.
7. Bathrooms...cleanliness is part of your religion. Well these people obviously never learned that. Using a public restroom is almost as traumatizing as driving through the horrific traffic. the floors are soaking wet, and you always end up with some mystery liquid on the bottom of your abaya. Majority of the restrooms are just porcelain holes in the floor and if you magically find a stall with a regular toilet seat its usually so beat up and with no toilet seat , just the porcelain bowl. Oh and let's not forget the complete lack of toilet paper. There is never ever ever any toilet paper in the restrooms. Also I must be fair and say new malls and restaurants have very nice restrooms, but that only lasts a couple months. Apparently people here don't know how to properly use a bathroom and destroy it. They seem to destroy everything here...they live by the motto "hey it's not mine!"
8. Not something that can be fixed, but the dust. Oh my god how I hate the dust.
9. Oh back to bathrooms, the bathrooms which are vile and disgusting are where the fitting rooms for women are. We cannot try clothes on in the store, that is a privilege only given to men, as is driving, and we must purchase the clothes or leave a credit card and go try it on in the nearest bathroom which sometimes is quite a long way away. Also I'm the type of person who enjoys getting my husband's, or really whoever is with me, feedback. I can't when I'm trying clothes on in a bathroom and required to wear a abaya when I leave said bathroom.
10. On the topic of clothes...ridiculous return policy of three days and exchange within 7. When transportation is so difficult and you're reliant on someone else bringing you back 3 days is a ridiculous amount of time. factor in kids, prayer times and awful traffic. You're pretty much stuck with whatever you bought, so choose wisely. Did I also mention it is not only that you have to return it within 3 days it also has to be before the exact time you bought it. So say you bought something at 9:05 on Monday, you go to the store on Thursday and get to the checkout at 9:06, sorry you're only eligible for an exchange because it now counts as four days. I'm not kidding this has happened to me before.
BAsically..in a nutshell the longer I have lived here the more I hate this place and the more I want to leave. Unfortunately my kids' lives are here, their friends, their school, their home, and it makes it incredibly difficult for me to leave. I am no longer someone hopeful for change and hope and happy things...all I want is OUT.
Now I know it seems childish and ridiculous to complain and say I hate this place, when there are so many places in the world that are much worse than living in suffocating Saudi Arabia. I could be stuck in the middle of the war in Syria, or the chaos that is Iraq, or some poverty stricken place in Africa. I know that, I do, but until you've lived this life and dealt with these frustrations that happen every single day with no end in sight...you have no right to tell me that I am not justified in feeling that I currently live in the worst possible country on earth.
So..lets vent. Let's list a few of these frustrations...
1. Not being allowed to drive. You'd think it is a stupid thing to complain about...but being entirely dependent on someone else to take you where you want to go is not fun. Especially not when you have three other human beings attached to you wherever you go. And it's further exacerbated by living on a compound where you seem to be not only talking, but screaming at walls. When no one cares or even bothers to fully listen to your issues, where they go constantly go back on their word, where their poor sensitive male ego is hurt when a woman comes up with a solution better than theirs, and to remedy that they completely ignore any recommendation made by you. Where trying to get your kids to school each day is a battle, an event so stressful that before the day even starts you're ready to crawl back into bed; only to be reminded that crawling into bed is not an option.
2. While on the topic of driving, lets mention the horrendous traffic. When in the States, I loved driving around neighborhoods and getting lost and discovering hidden play grounds and adorable houses. On weekends, going for a drive was also fun. Here leaving our house to get freaking groceries is a fucking nightmare. You don't know if you'll make it home alive, or if today will be the day that you end up getting into a horrific car accident. I vent to my parents and anyone who will listen about this a lot, and my dad always knows the right things to say (sarcasm). He likes to let me know how awful traffic is in the States too, and how he hates driving there for the exact same reason. Nope. Sorry but you are a liar. You cannot compare driving in the States to driving here, where you'll be minding your own business driving the right way and suddenly a car is driving directly towards you because he cant be freaking bothered to get on the right side of the road. The driving here is a reason we stay home.
3. More on grocery shopping or any type of shopping. Dealing with driving there is only half the battle..theres also the oh so lovely prayer time where everything closes for at least an hour. prayer takes at most 10 minutes, why they need to close for an hour is beyond me...and with there being 5 prayers a day...really only 4 of them affect store times...you can just imagine how efficient weekends are here. Get to the grocery store and get locked inside because its prayer time and we can't pay for our shit. Finally get out, and go drive to a restaurant...oh shit another prayer...restaurant closed. Let's go home and wish we never ever left our house.
4. Rude, entitled, judgemental people. This one is applicable to all places, it's not unique to Saudi Arabia, but it definitely adds to the joy of living here. For example waiting in line and some completely head to toe covered woman tries cutting in front of you because she assumes you don't speak arabic and therefore are lesser than her. When you do speak arabic, she looks you up and down and half heartedly apologizes but still tries to get her stuff done before you. Or something as simple as boarding a plane....the concept of forming a line seems to be much to difficult for people here..not just Saudis but Pakistanis and Indians too. I realize someone may call me out and say I'm racist but it's true, and of course there are the few western ex pats who think "if you can't beat em.." and those people I truly despise. I despise them all, but the western expats who wouldn't dare behave this way back home...they really disappoint me. Living here has made me lose all hope for humanity, and theres Trump and his lovely followers...people suck and I'm better off holing up in my house.
5. The abaya. It's hot, it's annoying, it gets stuck on things, it makes me trip, and I HATE it. I hate it with a passion....i want to light all of mine on fire and watch them burn. The only good thing is that I cvan leave the house in my pajamas or wear the same clothes every single day and not a single person will know. Granted doing that isn't great for your emotional or mental state...but its the only positive I can think of.
6. For a place that lets kids run wild, it does not have a lot for kids. Sure every mall has a kids play area but most are so poorly maintained that you would be better off sending your kids to play in a junk yard...they have the same likelihood of getting hurt or sick from both places. Also there are no changing tables in any bathroom I have ever been in.
7. Bathrooms...cleanliness is part of your religion. Well these people obviously never learned that. Using a public restroom is almost as traumatizing as driving through the horrific traffic. the floors are soaking wet, and you always end up with some mystery liquid on the bottom of your abaya. Majority of the restrooms are just porcelain holes in the floor and if you magically find a stall with a regular toilet seat its usually so beat up and with no toilet seat , just the porcelain bowl. Oh and let's not forget the complete lack of toilet paper. There is never ever ever any toilet paper in the restrooms. Also I must be fair and say new malls and restaurants have very nice restrooms, but that only lasts a couple months. Apparently people here don't know how to properly use a bathroom and destroy it. They seem to destroy everything here...they live by the motto "hey it's not mine!"
8. Not something that can be fixed, but the dust. Oh my god how I hate the dust.
9. Oh back to bathrooms, the bathrooms which are vile and disgusting are where the fitting rooms for women are. We cannot try clothes on in the store, that is a privilege only given to men, as is driving, and we must purchase the clothes or leave a credit card and go try it on in the nearest bathroom which sometimes is quite a long way away. Also I'm the type of person who enjoys getting my husband's, or really whoever is with me, feedback. I can't when I'm trying clothes on in a bathroom and required to wear a abaya when I leave said bathroom.
10. On the topic of clothes...ridiculous return policy of three days and exchange within 7. When transportation is so difficult and you're reliant on someone else bringing you back 3 days is a ridiculous amount of time. factor in kids, prayer times and awful traffic. You're pretty much stuck with whatever you bought, so choose wisely. Did I also mention it is not only that you have to return it within 3 days it also has to be before the exact time you bought it. So say you bought something at 9:05 on Monday, you go to the store on Thursday and get to the checkout at 9:06, sorry you're only eligible for an exchange because it now counts as four days. I'm not kidding this has happened to me before.
BAsically..in a nutshell the longer I have lived here the more I hate this place and the more I want to leave. Unfortunately my kids' lives are here, their friends, their school, their home, and it makes it incredibly difficult for me to leave. I am no longer someone hopeful for change and hope and happy things...all I want is OUT.
