I overthink. My mind is always constantly running through different scenarios and different meanings.

Does she really mean she is happy to see me?

Why did he have that particular look on his face?

And it always ends with me thinking I'm not good enough.

No one could ever truly like me.

I have nothing special to offer anybody.

I sit in confusion when people seem to genuinely enjoy being in my company.

I wonder why?

I get scared that my cover will be blown, completely ignoring the fact that I wasn't hiding anything to begin with, I was just being me.

I worry that they will realize how worthless I really am, and frantically try to keep up with appearances.

Appearances that never existed to begin with.

My anxiety flares, words become difficult, and my brain becomes too muddled to really focus on the person talking in front of me.

Don't blow it, don't blow it repeats over and over in my mind.

It's hard to turn off my mind, to tune out the anxieties, to internally scream SHUT UP. Yet I still try.