Today I had a moment...a moment where I was 100% fine with being 26....and completely okay with the fact that my 27th birthday (ahem golden birthday) is only 4 months away. I didn't feel like i couldn't breathe, i didn't feel like i'm suddenly ancient...i was genuinely happy. I mean i still feel at peace with my age...but other stuff and emotions and things came up and replaced that zen feeling.

It was amazing! still is amazing....i just feel comfortable. I am becoming a little less shy...a little more social (not in a disgusting way)...i just like me. yes high school was fun...and college days were wonderful...but i was so insecure....i still am...but back then i was insanely insecure. so yes...i no longer have this gut wrenching feeling about being 26...and turning 27. i'm feeling good about it and kind of excited...my life isn't over unless i say it is.

and even though i feel so amazing...my poor heart is aching. :'( sigh i've given up hope thinking it will ever stop. oh well..this is life.