Yesterday I was skyping with my mom, and sharing all the crazy funny stories of my boys..she could not stop laughing. Between all the laughing she said "Hannah, you need to get these down, you need to save these, write a book or something."
I dunno about writing a book...I mean who else would want to read these stories? Actually she may have something...I mean if a guy can publish a book showing his online email pranks then I'm pretty sure a book with short stories about preschoolers would possibly be popular. But like I said...not so sure about the book...but definitely going to be posting the stories here on my blog. anyways..here are a few recent stories...
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My oldest son, he just turned 4 today, was walking with me a few weeks ago. I started to tell him our plans for the evening and the fact that since we were planning to stay up later he would need to have some quiet time (my convincing way of telling him he needs a nap..his younger brother takes naps but because he's a big boy he takes quiet time). He started to get upset, and reason with me about how not tired he was even though you could see and hear the exhaustion on his face and through his screams..no shrieks. Finally, he calmed down..and told me he wanted to take his nap in my bed, though he called it Baba's (what he calls his dad) bed. I apologized and explained that quiet time, bed time, any type of sleeping was to be done in his bed..no discussion. He sighed, looked up at me completely serious and said, "I have rights, and I want to sleep in Baba's bed." What do you reply to a three year old who has just told you he feels his rights are being abused?! Where do kids get this stuuf???
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I've started to potty train my youngest, he turned two in November, and he's been doing pretty good. I won't say there haven't been accidents...because of course there have been...but the worst accident (if you can even call it that) happened a few days ago. I was doing something in the living room, when he comes running to me telling me he did poo-poo..mind you he was extremely excited. So I look in his potty and to my horror there is nothing there...I look at him and ask as calmly as I can..where did you do poo-poo? He grabs my hand and says, "Come here, I show you." He walks me to the dining room..THE DINING ROOM!!! of alllll the rooms in the house he chose there, and points under our table. :| There it lay...on the rug, under the table where we eat. I explained for what felt like the zillionth time that we use the potty when we need to do poo poo or pee pee. He giggled and ran away, leaving me to clean up the mess. It gets worse...before this happened I had set the table because my husband would be home soon and we were going to have dinner. So he walks in and we head to the dining room. My youngest's spoon is nowhere to be found...I look down and find it on the floor...thinking to myself ugh not only did he poop on the floor but he threw the silverware on the ground. But noooo...my son is much too creative for that...the spoon when I picked it up had what looked like dried on food...I started wiping it off when my heart sinks...I smell what I assumed were food particles...only to realize my innocent little two year old..took his spoon and tried to cut into the feces he had left under the table. He tried to cut his poop?!?! WHHHHYYYYYY?!?!?! what was going through his mind...why would you do this?! whyyyy?!
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On a less funny note..yesterday while driving home from school....correction, while being driven home from school. My youngest was napping as usual, and my oldest was playing a game on the ipad. Suddenly I heard the cough. ..the cough that I think most moms can relate too. The one that warns you that any second there will be vomit...everywhere. I panic and start rummaging through my purse looking for the plastic bag I had started carrying since the last throw up incident in public. But there wasn't enough time...the cough was insistent...he was going to throw up now. Now let me lay out the seating arrangement...I'm sitting on one end of the bench, my eldest in his car seat in the middle, and my youngest at the other end in his car seat. So I can tell he is going to throw up right now...I reach over my eldest, and throw my hand under my youngest's mouth...sickly sweet yet sour smelling chocolatey milk mucusy throw up fills my hand...I do a balancing act trying for the life of me to keep the majority of it in my hand which if you've ever tried filling your hand with water know is incredibly difficult to do. I try to balance, while my free hand is still rummaging through my purse ...desperate to find something...anything to salvage the car seat and his pants. And i find it! a tiny zip lock baggy that I had forgotten to throw out....THANK GOD! the cough again....I shove the baggy under his chin strategically just as he starts again...and miraculously it all makes it into the bag...with my clean hand i rummage again and pull out a bag of wipes and wipe down my hand...cleaning off the vomit, but not the nasty smell. I can now better place the baggy and let him finish. Once hes done...i wipe down the harness straps, and start trying to wipe his shirt...but decide its best to just let him ride home shirtless. The important part is aside from the harness straps miraculously the only thing that was ruined by vomit was my baby's shirt. Ahhh.....the joys of motherhood.
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As any mother knows...when its the middle of the night and you here that foreboding cough, and you run as fast as you can to get there in time to save the sheets, the blankets, the pillow, and their jammies. But you also know to bring something to catch the vomit in. Weeell...my husband is not the best when it comes to stress. He cannot think fast and kinda goes a little crazy. One day we heard that cough....but he got to the room just as my son was about to throw up and he had nothing to catch the vomit in. Another tip? If all else fails use the blanket to catch the vomit because it is the easiest thing to remove and replace. Yeah, my husband didn't get the memo...he grabs mys now vomitting son and runs across our carpetted floor to the bathroom, and tries to get him over the toilet, only to find the toilet closed, so he moves him to the sink. I was livid when I got to the room, because now we had vomit all over my sons bed, all over his pajamas, a trail leading to the bathroom and all over the bathroom floor, vomit on the toilet lid, and vomit all over the bathroom counter and in the sink. I wanted to cry and yell and scream..so of course I yelled at my husband. Why on earth would he think carrying a vomitting child across a room would be a good idea. His excuse was he wasn't thinking...well how incredibly convenient for him! :D
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Thats all I can remember for now...but I'm sure there will be pleeeeenty more! :D Oh and the last one is not that recent...its from like a year ago.
I dunno about writing a book...I mean who else would want to read these stories? Actually she may have something...I mean if a guy can publish a book showing his online email pranks then I'm pretty sure a book with short stories about preschoolers would possibly be popular. But like I said...not so sure about the book...but definitely going to be posting the stories here on my blog. anyways..here are a few recent stories...
------------
My oldest son, he just turned 4 today, was walking with me a few weeks ago. I started to tell him our plans for the evening and the fact that since we were planning to stay up later he would need to have some quiet time (my convincing way of telling him he needs a nap..his younger brother takes naps but because he's a big boy he takes quiet time). He started to get upset, and reason with me about how not tired he was even though you could see and hear the exhaustion on his face and through his screams..no shrieks. Finally, he calmed down..and told me he wanted to take his nap in my bed, though he called it Baba's (what he calls his dad) bed. I apologized and explained that quiet time, bed time, any type of sleeping was to be done in his bed..no discussion. He sighed, looked up at me completely serious and said, "I have rights, and I want to sleep in Baba's bed." What do you reply to a three year old who has just told you he feels his rights are being abused?! Where do kids get this stuuf???
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I've started to potty train my youngest, he turned two in November, and he's been doing pretty good. I won't say there haven't been accidents...because of course there have been...but the worst accident (if you can even call it that) happened a few days ago. I was doing something in the living room, when he comes running to me telling me he did poo-poo..mind you he was extremely excited. So I look in his potty and to my horror there is nothing there...I look at him and ask as calmly as I can..where did you do poo-poo? He grabs my hand and says, "Come here, I show you." He walks me to the dining room..THE DINING ROOM!!! of alllll the rooms in the house he chose there, and points under our table. :| There it lay...on the rug, under the table where we eat. I explained for what felt like the zillionth time that we use the potty when we need to do poo poo or pee pee. He giggled and ran away, leaving me to clean up the mess. It gets worse...before this happened I had set the table because my husband would be home soon and we were going to have dinner. So he walks in and we head to the dining room. My youngest's spoon is nowhere to be found...I look down and find it on the floor...thinking to myself ugh not only did he poop on the floor but he threw the silverware on the ground. But noooo...my son is much too creative for that...the spoon when I picked it up had what looked like dried on food...I started wiping it off when my heart sinks...I smell what I assumed were food particles...only to realize my innocent little two year old..took his spoon and tried to cut into the feces he had left under the table. He tried to cut his poop?!?! WHHHHYYYYYY?!?!?! what was going through his mind...why would you do this?! whyyyy?!
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On a less funny note..yesterday while driving home from school....correction, while being driven home from school. My youngest was napping as usual, and my oldest was playing a game on the ipad. Suddenly I heard the cough. ..the cough that I think most moms can relate too. The one that warns you that any second there will be vomit...everywhere. I panic and start rummaging through my purse looking for the plastic bag I had started carrying since the last throw up incident in public. But there wasn't enough time...the cough was insistent...he was going to throw up now. Now let me lay out the seating arrangement...I'm sitting on one end of the bench, my eldest in his car seat in the middle, and my youngest at the other end in his car seat. So I can tell he is going to throw up right now...I reach over my eldest, and throw my hand under my youngest's mouth...sickly sweet yet sour smelling chocolatey milk mucusy throw up fills my hand...I do a balancing act trying for the life of me to keep the majority of it in my hand which if you've ever tried filling your hand with water know is incredibly difficult to do. I try to balance, while my free hand is still rummaging through my purse ...desperate to find something...anything to salvage the car seat and his pants. And i find it! a tiny zip lock baggy that I had forgotten to throw out....THANK GOD! the cough again....I shove the baggy under his chin strategically just as he starts again...and miraculously it all makes it into the bag...with my clean hand i rummage again and pull out a bag of wipes and wipe down my hand...cleaning off the vomit, but not the nasty smell. I can now better place the baggy and let him finish. Once hes done...i wipe down the harness straps, and start trying to wipe his shirt...but decide its best to just let him ride home shirtless. The important part is aside from the harness straps miraculously the only thing that was ruined by vomit was my baby's shirt. Ahhh.....the joys of motherhood.
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As any mother knows...when its the middle of the night and you here that foreboding cough, and you run as fast as you can to get there in time to save the sheets, the blankets, the pillow, and their jammies. But you also know to bring something to catch the vomit in. Weeell...my husband is not the best when it comes to stress. He cannot think fast and kinda goes a little crazy. One day we heard that cough....but he got to the room just as my son was about to throw up and he had nothing to catch the vomit in. Another tip? If all else fails use the blanket to catch the vomit because it is the easiest thing to remove and replace. Yeah, my husband didn't get the memo...he grabs mys now vomitting son and runs across our carpetted floor to the bathroom, and tries to get him over the toilet, only to find the toilet closed, so he moves him to the sink. I was livid when I got to the room, because now we had vomit all over my sons bed, all over his pajamas, a trail leading to the bathroom and all over the bathroom floor, vomit on the toilet lid, and vomit all over the bathroom counter and in the sink. I wanted to cry and yell and scream..so of course I yelled at my husband. Why on earth would he think carrying a vomitting child across a room would be a good idea. His excuse was he wasn't thinking...well how incredibly convenient for him! :D
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Thats all I can remember for now...but I'm sure there will be pleeeeenty more! :D Oh and the last one is not that recent...its from like a year ago.
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