Sometimes my feelings get the best of me. They engulf me, and I can feel myself spiraling down. It becomes hard to see the bright and hopeful side of life. I start to dwell not only on what has hurt me, but on everything sad or awful in the world. I fall deeper into the sadness, and find it hard to climb back up into the light. I desperately try to heal the ache in my heart, in my soul and I start by pushing away people and things who I feel, at the moment, have caused me pain. I still leave my house with a smile though, I will tell you I'm fine if you ask, I will laugh, I will joke, I will continue on as though nothing at all is wrong. You'll never know about the tears I shed behind closed doors. You'll never know about the nights I stay awake unable to sleep, overwhelmed with anxiety and guilt. You'll never know how deeply I feel things.